I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize