Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
