if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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