i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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