I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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