I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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