then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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