just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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