i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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