Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
