Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
