She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You took a bar mat shot.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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