After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
