hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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