i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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