brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
