i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize