thus making me awesome and them whores
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
