I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
