yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
