I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
