Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
