Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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