i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
