evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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