Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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