omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
