on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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