I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
