Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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