I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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