I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It was confusing and full of hummus
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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