He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
