Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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