...so i touched it.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
