Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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