i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
