this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize