He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
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I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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