gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
