Don't you send me to vm
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
