I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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