haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
