I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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