you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just invented taco cereal.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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