That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
time to smoke my breakfast
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
