somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Small penises have feelings too.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize