Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
