I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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