it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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