I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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