So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
