omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
