im about as happy as oj after his trial
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
