At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
