I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
