I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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