Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
