Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Houston, we have a blender
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
