Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize