it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
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i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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